You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
