I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
