Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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