I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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