So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
