i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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