i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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