Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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