Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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