I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
