Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
