i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
PANTIES FOUND
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