well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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