I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
