angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
