so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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