i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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