Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
