so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
