Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
