why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
