just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
