im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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