Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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