Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
