First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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