The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
