So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize