Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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