I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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