i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
