I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
