shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
