what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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