i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
