Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize