plz talk dirty to me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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