She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
