is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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