Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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