I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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