dude i'm inner monologue high
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
