bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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