Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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