I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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