Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
