it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm always down for nudity.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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