The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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