I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
