I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
They have beer where we have blood.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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