he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
