I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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