we're blogging at a bar
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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