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it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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