the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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