no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
