i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
