escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
