i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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