We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
