Small penises have feelings too.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
