I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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