it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
