dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
