If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize