Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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