Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
