Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
