Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
My vagina is very pro this idea
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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